10 Stupid Baby Names Not Nearly As Stupid As Bronx Mowgli Wentz (1)
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CONGRATULATIONS TO PETE WENTZ AND ASHLEE SIMPSON FOR GIVING THEIR NEWBORN SON THE ABSOLUTE BEST BABY NAME OF ALL TIME! BRONX MOWGLI WENTZ! THIS IS FOR REAL, PEOPLE! I mean, it's just a kid, right? Why not give him a name that is HILARIOUS? It's not like a human being's entire life - socially, mentally, and physically - is at stake, right? Why not have a little fun? Why not be a rebel? Give this ...
Cute Or Terrifying? A Spider Is Lost Somewhere On The Space Station (1)
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Apparently, a spider has disappeared on the space station. Now, for some people, this might be a horrifying thought. I remember one time growing up when a spider cricket (Have you ever seen those things? They're AWFUL.) somehow got trapped in my bedroom. I couldn't rest until I found it. Just the idea of there being this jumping, spidery-lookin' thing somewhere in my room was unbearable. I stayed up for two hours trying to find ...
Johnny Depp As The Mad Hatter: Exactly What We Had Imagined (6)
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Here's a photo of Johnny Depp as The Mad Hatter for Tim Burton's upcoming Alice In Wonderland. Totally. Not. Surprised. He's pretty much gone down the list of all the things a Tim Burton character needs in order to play the part: Dark circles under the eyes Skin paler than a beluga whale A minimum of 3 ruffly shirts Before-hair from the Garnier Fructis commercial Lipstick Bonus: Scary red rabbit eyes.
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Vitak said:
I really can't imagine a better choice for the Mad Hatter. This movie is going to be amazing (even though I don't recognize the actress playing Alice). I have every confidence that Tim Burton is going to blow our minds.
The Top 2 Hugh Jackman Faces Of All Time (5)
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Either Hugh is taking the most wonderful pee of his life, or somebody is really doing him a favor...down there. Either way, I'm not sure we'll ever see such wonderful Hugh Jackman expressions for at least another 75 years. 2. Aaaaand, for the number 1 Hugh Jackman face of all time... 1. Turns out, he was swimming in the ocean. A big, beautiful, refreshing ocean that just makes you feel brlblrblrbblrbblrbblrblgooooooeeeeegarrrrrrlAAAAALIIIIIIVE! OOOOAAAAAH!!! I HAVE KISSED ...
Boi-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoing! I Totally Have A Woody For SNL Right Now (1)
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Oh sweet sweet glory. That was pretty fun, wasn’t it? SNL this weekend featured Paul Rudd, Beyonce, and Justin Timberlake. I think I’m in love you guys. If you haven’t seen it yet, here is the sketch everyone is talking about. Paul Rudd is directing the “Single Ladies” video for Beyonce, and her backup dancers are JT, Andy Samberg, and Bobby Moynihan all wearing black leotards and heels. Need I say more? Well, one thing: ...
Michael Jackson’s Note To His Fans (1)
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In the wake of news that Michael Jackson will be losing his Neverland Ranch forever, MJ himself left a note for his fans. It's typical MJ child-like optimism, but what catches my eye is the word "really" in quotes. The misspelling is not what concerns me - it's the use of quotations. There's "nothing" that annoys me more "than" someone using quotes for no reason. But maybe MJ isn't using them incorrectly? Maybe he's pulling ...
Diet Soda Cat WILL Get What He Wants (1)
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Sometimes a kitty wants to squeeze into a tiny little box, but he just can’t fit. He’s not as young and trim as he used to be. The results? The antidote to Twisty Cats. Doesn’t the Bible say something about “It’s easier for a rich man to get into heaven than for a cat to fit through diet beverage packaging”? IT’S THE LEGS….PEOPLE. IT’S HIS HAUNCHES AND HIS LEGS. WATCH TO THE END FOR THE ...
Paul Rudd Hosts SNL: We Live In A Magical Time (2)
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This weekend, Paul Rudd hosts SNL. Here are some promos for the show, with Andy Samberg. Beyonce is the musical guest. I'm hoping that this one will be a good one. I'm not sure one even needs to hope when Paul Rudd is involved. They could just set the camera on his face for an hour and a half and I would call it a good episode. Or they could just replay this video over ...
Fake New York Times Gives Us A Totally Realistic Vision Of The Future (1)
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I'm not trying to rain on the hope parade, but I couldn't help but feel a little sad when I saw this fake New York Times that a liberal prank group called The Yes Men printed and is handing out today in New York City. It's very real-looking (impressive!) and features fantasy headlines. The reason it pricks my heart a bit is because this is dated for July 2009. That's like, 8 months from now. ...
Joe Jonas Has A New Girlfriend (1)
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Jonas Brother Joe Jonas, who recently split from his girlfriend Taylor Swift, has wasted no time getting back on the saddle. He's already got someone new! Her name is Camilla Belle, who was in 10,000 BC (but you most likely know her from playing young Sandra Bullock in the seminal 1998 film, Practical Magic). Why do we care? We don't. Except for the fact that these two have something pretty amazing in common. I mean, ...
This Baby Is Drunk On Power (2)
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There’s nothing more amazing than having a huge crowd of foaming-at-the-mouth Phillies fans in the palm of your tiny toddler hand. When I clicked on this, the top comment on it was as follows: “I feel sorry for this little guy. Where does he go from here? Most of us spend our whole lives failing to get one person’s attention.” So true. So so true. Cynical world-views aside, this is freakin’ ADORABLE: (via BuzzFeed) Tags: ...
Is John Travolta The New Mr. Clean? (2)
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Baldy John Travolta concentrates on his acting (and his alien-thetan-free skull) on the set of his film From Paris With Love, which co-stars Jonathan Rhys Meyers. I'm sorry...what is this movie about again? IMDB tells me that in the film, "A young embassy employee hooks up with an American spy in Paris." Is this the French Brokeback Mountain? I'm sorry...I'm old and I don't know what the phrase "hook up" means anymore. Or what a ...
Dogs Playing Poker: The New Harbinger Of The Apocalypse (1)
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Lindsay over at Videogum discovered this woman on God TV, who has received a message from God. The vision she received was that of the new government, under Barack Obama, represented by a bunch of puppies playing poker, smoking cigars, and drinking whiskey. So basically, she was walking by one of those art galleries in the mall that sell Thomas Kinkade paintings and portraits of dolphins, and she thought God was speaking to her? Better ...
Plus Size Is Happenin’ On Public Access Show “Goddesses” (2)
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After all these years of fodder-providing, after all the scavenging of its annals by bloggers the world over, Public Access television’s still got it you guys. Eliot Glazer over at Urlesque has uncovered perhaps one of the best new erotic rappers of our time: Donald. Donald loves the full girl - in particular, his lover, Ellen. Together, they express themselves freely here on the show “Goddesses.” I LOVE THIS. I love people. After the jump, ...
ICYMI: Help Me CNN, You’re My Only Hope!!! (1)
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2 weeks, 2 days
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Oh man. That was some CRAZY ASS SH*T!!! CNN blew my damn mind last night with those holograms! BEHOLD the technology! The completely necessary technology that will change the face of not only the media, but the world as we know it. Who the hell needs to find a way to get CO2 out of the atmosphere when we got HOLOGRAMS, YA’LL! OOOOOOOOH MY GOD! It’s not just a movie editing trick anymore. IT’S FOR ...
Justin Long’s Hook Up Downward Spiral (2)
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Justin Long was dating Drew Barrymore. Then he was seen hardcore making out with Kirsten Dunst for a few minutes. Now, on Halloween, he was seen macking (get it?) on Tila Tequila. Apparently, "he asked her to straddle him while making out." Yeah. Because when you're making out with a delicate, innocent woman like Tila Tequila, you really have to give her instructions - otherwise, she wouldn't have a clue what to do to turn ...
Who Is This Woman On The Cover Of Vanity Fair? (1)
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2 weeks, 4 days
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I think if you stare long enough, you'll probably figure it out, but honestly, I saw this several times on various blogs today and did not ONCE recognize who it was, until I saw a headline clearly stating it was her. See who it is, after the jump! I'm so inspired by Kate's sense of style. I think tomorrow I'm going to wear a floor-length trench coat to work with NOTHING on underneath, and do ...
