Postcards from the "Basement" (1)
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Chez (38)
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Deus Ex Malcontent (50)
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From my e-mail inbox this afternoon:Chez,Re: ComplaintI demand your immediate moderation of your blog.You must delete this from your blog now, and all comments that reference it immediately:AKA "Guy sitting in his Mom's basement pleasuring himself to holograms of Jessica Yellin and fantasies of a threesome with Heidi Collins and Rick Sanchez."That is not criticism, it is offensive.I will check your blog within 24 hours.Thank you for your attention to this matter.XXX XXXXX (Name Deleted)CNNfan ...
Tuesday is Recycling Day (1)
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noreply@blogger.com (Chez) (12)
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5 days, 5 hours
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"Montana Über Alles" (Originally Published, 11.20.07)Let me make something clear right off the bat: I don't normally go around taunting small children.About a month or so ago, a friend of mine was in town -- a guy I hadn't seen since the two of us were a couple of kids watching The Wrath of Khan for the 130th time and trying to concoct viciously creative ways to destroy our neighborhood via a seemingly bottomless arsenal ...
The Shit Hits the Fan (1)
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noreply@blogger.com (Chez) (12)
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Back when I was in high school, there was a girl in my class who loved REO Speedwagon.Actually, that's a bit of an understatement: She didn't just love REO Speedwagon -- she worshipped them. She owned everything the band had ever recorded; drew pictures of them on her folders; talked about them incessantly with anyone unlucky enough to be drawn into the vortex of madness created by her singular obsession; lived to serve at the ...
Interlude (1)
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Listening Post (1)
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Chez (38)
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Deus Ex Malcontent (50)
1 week, 1 day
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When a friend of mine with close ties to the music business told me a couple of months back that November would finally see the release of Guns N' Roses' mythical next album Chinese Democracy, I laughed it off.Now, lo and behold, after 15 long years during which pretty much everything changed -- about music, about culture, about the band's lineup, about Axl's hair -- it's finally here, leaving critics to ponder if it was ...
And Now, Apropos of Nothing, a Tiny Glimpse into My Personal Neuroses (1)
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noreply@blogger.com (Chez) (12)
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1 week, 2 days
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This was my favorite cereal as a kid.I would ask my mom for it because I always felt like the clown looked vaguely sad -- like the company had threatened to fire him as a mascot or something if people didn't start buying.Poor clown. He's doing his best.
Quote of the Week (1)
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noreply@blogger.com (Chez) (12)
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1 week, 3 days
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"Faith is a very big part of my life. And putting my life in my creator's hands -- this is what I always do. I'm like, OK, God, if there is an open door for me somewhere, this is what I always pray, I'm like, don't let me miss the open door. Show me where the open door is. Even if it's cracked up a little bit, maybe I'll plow right on through that and ...
Like It Never Happened (1)
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That's What You Get (1)
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noreply@blogger.com (Chez) (12)
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A really funny and clever observation from the people at 23/6 regarding the election:"American History majors rarely get the chance to experience American History in real time. Last night was like a gigantic episode of 24, but instead of Jack Bauer and a countdown clock, it had Wolf Blitzer and an electoral counter. Like Bauer, Obama solved big problems all in one day -- turning red states into blue states, bringing a huge Democratic majority ...
Post Mortem (1)
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Chez (38)
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2 weeks, 1 day
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We knew Sarah Palin wasn't very bright, but now that the presidential race is over we're learning just how embarrassingly clueless she really is.According to Fox News Political Correspondent Carl Cameron, the McCain camp was concerned about Palin's grasp of basic geography -- the kind of thing a 9th grader would have a working knowledge of -- during the campaign. In particular, she didn't know which three North American countries were in NAFTA nor did ...
Wide Awake in America (3)
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Chez (38)
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2 weeks, 2 days
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For the first time in quite a while, I've been rendered just about speechless.I have no idea how to convey the enormity of what happened last night and how it changes the world we're all waking up to this morning. It is a seismic event that's wholly impossible to overstate and, as such, I have no doubt that I'm not the only one now poring through his thesaurus looking for a way to properly put ...
Quote of the Year (1)
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Chez (38)
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2 weeks, 2 days
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"To those who would tear the world down: We will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security: We support you. And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright: Tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding ...
We the People... (1)
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Chez (38)
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2 weeks, 3 days
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So here we are.After what's seemed like an interminable build-up, Election Day is finally just a few short hours away. By this time tomorrow, barring any nightmare scenario coming to fruition, we'll likely know who the next president of the United States is -- which trajectory this country will take from January of 2009 forward. For many, the choice may be simple. But with all we've lived through during the past eight turbulent years -- ...
Talk Dirty to Me (1)
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Chez (38)
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2 weeks, 5 days
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I briefly dated CNN anchor Kyra Phillips.She and I went out for a few months back in the mid-90s, while we were both working at KCBS in Los Angeles. Given the Kafkaesque nature of daily life at KCBS, it could easily be argued that our little fling was nothing more than the natural and understandable product of trauma -- kind of like two people trapped in the same prison camp coming together simply to provide ...
Fear of a Black Aura (1)
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Chez (38)
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3 weeks
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In the immortal words of Dave Barry: I swear I'm not making this up. The following is an e-mail chain sent to me by an alert reader (thanks Jon Rey) after it was sent to him by someone he knows, and so on and so on. Normally I'd say that it's shocking in its hilariously jaw-dropping stupidity, except for two things: 1) we've seen this kind of thing over and over during this presidential campaign, ...
Insolent Jest (1)
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Chez (38)
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3 weeks, 1 day
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A couple of months ago, I was lucky enough to be invited to the legendary Friars Club here in New York City as a guest for its roast of ex-Star Trek star and current professional kitschy homosexual, George Takei. If you've seen a Friars Club roast on television -- or any roast for that matter -- you probably think you have a pretty good idea of what it's like to attend one of these things. ...
In God We Trust (To Save Our Floundering Campaign) (1)
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Chez (38)
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3 weeks, 1 day
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Wow -- just, wow.This is what Liddy Dole is being forced to stoop to save her senate seat: basically accusing her opponent -- who looks to be ready to whip Dole's ass next week -- of being "godless."I wish I had a punchline for this, but it sort of makes its own gravy.By the way, that last voice you hear in the spot -- the woman shouting "There is no God!"? Dole's playing that up ...
Quote of the Week Month (1)
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Chez (38)
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3 weeks, 3 days
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"I don't want a political label, but Obama bears traits that resemble the anti-Christ and I'm scared to death that un-educated people will ignorantly vote him into office."-- Former Saturday Night Live castmember and current nobody Victoria Jackson, on her blog
