This guy's idea to skateboard down a flaming rock with his gasoline-doused pants on fire seemed so solid in the planning stages. I'm not quite sure where he went wrong. Some say it was the gasoline-doused trousers, others claim it was setting them on fire. The debate rages on.

Some people who play golf video games discovered a "glitch" in EA Sports' Tiger Woods PGA Tour '08 when they realized they could make Tiger walk on water (video of it here). And now, in the video above, EA has responded with a promo for PGA Tour '09 in which Woods actually walks on water.Pretty cool, I guess. I always like it when athletes are compared to the Son of God and our Lord and ...

A lot of Americans put a pretty high premium on being on television, otherwise dipshits wouldn't show up to Good Morning America or TRL just to look like jackasses for the folks at home. As you can see here, "local weatherman in Cincinnati dancing with a mascot and encouraging people to attend Reds games" ranks slightly below "douchebag getting belittled by Simon Cowell" and "Midwesterner waving in the background of a morning show" on the ...

I suppose a more accurate headline for the marginally attractive Paraguayan javelinette would be LERYN FRANCO CAME IN SECOND TO LAST, considering that's where she actually finished in the competition. She didn't get out of the qualifying round and her best throw was 12 meters shy of her personal best. But when you think about it, she finished first in my heart, and isn't that what really matters?Another good headline would have been PENULTIMATE FINISH, ...

There's an East Coast bias in coverage of jackass baseball fans. Red Sox and Yankees fans get all the attention for being loudmouthed narrow-minded louts, but there's a particularly virulent breed of fucktardation on Chicago's North Side that deserves more attention. Wrigley Field is the hub of Midwestern douchebaggery, pulling in the biggest douches in a five-state radius. The combination of lively bleachers, an active singles bar scene next to the stadium, and a high ...

Poor Alicia Sacramone. This has been a tough Olympics for her, what with her bed-defecation in the team competition and the cruel questioning from hag-face Andrea Joyce, followed by a fine performance on the vault in which she got screwed out of a medal. This video took place after that fourth-place finish on the vault. Opponent Carlotta Giovannini tried to give her the triple cheek-peck, but Alicia walked away after two, forcing the Italian to ...

Iowa's so cute. It's got all the corn and soybeans of Illinois, minus that big metropolitan center with all the fast cars and minorities. So when the state fair rolls around, you know it's time to register the domain name StuffFatWhitePeop.... Running from August 7th through yesterday, the fair featured plenty of funnel cakes, bad hair, and a statue homegrown Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson -- sculpted from butter. I didn't ask, but I'm pretty sure ...

Greetings, roundeyes. The People's Republic of China hopes that you are enjoying this most thoroughly authentic of Olympic experiences. We're very proud of our most perfect fireworks in the clear Beijing sky, the beautiful little girl who sang our national anthem, our team of 16-year-old gold medalist gymnasts, and our rich ethnic history displayed in the opening ceremonies. [The children] were dressed in costumes associated with the country's ethnic minorities, including those from troubled areas ...

Hey, remember when the Chinese gymnasts won Olympic team gold with girls who were obviously under the legal competitive age of 16? As it turns out, at least one of the girls is under the age of 16.Just nine months before the Beijing Olympics, the Chinese government's news agency, Xinhua, reported that gymnast He Kexin was 13, which would have made her ineligible to be on the team that won a gold medal this week. ...

When you spend all day on the Internet like I do, you see some fucked up and pathetic things. But this may take the cake. I hope, I pray, I plead to my aloof God that this website is an elaborate ruse. It's called "Can the Cubs Mend My Heart?" and there's not really any way I can put it into words. A man in Chicago named Matthew dated a woman for nine months, she ...

CagePotato has this fight between Jon Jones and Andre Gusmao that got cut from Saturday night's pay-per-view package of UFC 87. Unless you're die-hard for MMA there's no need to watch all of this low-quality video, but I wanted to post it for this exchange (about twenty seconds in) between color commentator Joe Rogan and play-by-play douche Mike Goldberg: Goldberg: Short black trunks for Jones, white trunks for Gusmao. Rogan: ...or black guy Jones, white ...

My hearing no longer registers Bob Costas's voice, but apparently NBC's voice of the Olympic Games was forthcoming about China's digital wizardry to make the opening ceremonies more impressive. Well, that wasn't the only thing China faked in order to hide the republic's imperfection. Remember the adorable little girl who sang the national anthem? She lip-synced. Apparently the girl with the good voice had a busted grill. At the last moment a member of the ...

Preseason football is pretty much unwatchable beyond the first quarter of any game, so it's no surprise that the only real highlight from last night Bengals-Packers game happened early. James Jones got his clock cleaned and his helmet knocked off by two Cincy defenders, but stayed on his feet and ran in for the score.Probably the best thing about Internet video is that the editing is way better than on boring-ass ESPN. Does ESPN give ...

On the heels of entertaining (or at least competent) halftime performances by Prince and Tom Petty, the NFL has reportedly lined up Bruce Springsteen to play the intermission at Super Bowl XLIII next February.Super Bowl XLIII on Feb. 1 in Tampa will feature Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, sources said. "He was just confirmed," a spy added. "Little Stevie (Van Zandt) has already rented out the Hard Rock Café for a party." A ...

Hey, remember how awesome the Olympic opening ceremonies were on Friday night? Remember getting stoned and saying, "Duuuuude"? Well, it was fake. Beijing is too smoggy for the fireworks to show up clearly on camera, so that whole fireworks finale was done in CGI -- prepared months in advance.While the dramatic fireworks display actually happened as portrayed on television, members of the Beijing Olympic Committee said it was necessary to replace live video with computer-generated ...

Here's a pleasantly brief clip from a German soccer game in which a young cheerleader gets caught in the crossfire during a slightly off-target shot on goal. And by "crossfire" I mean "face." It's a direct shot that takes out a bonus cheerleader like a domino. That should count for something like three points. It'd be a great way to stem those complaints about low scores.[The Beautiful Game]

In case you missed it, here's the video of the USA relay team's amazing win against France in the 4x100 freestyle relay. Generally, I don't like posting any video that's longer than three minutes, but holy crap this is a helluva race. I grew up spending my summers on a swim team, and I saw a relay comeback like this once, ever. And it was because the person with the lead was a summer-only swimmer, ...

This week's People Magazine profiles Ben Underwood, a blind 14-year-old who makes his way through the world using echo location.Completely blind since the age of 3, after retinal cancer claimed both his eyes (he now wears two prostheses), Ben has learned to perceive and locate objects by making a steady stream of sounds with his tongue, then listening for the echoes as they bounce off the surfaces around him. About as loud as the snapping ...

Bia and Branca Feres are not on Brazil's Olympic team this summer, but they are accomplished synchronized swimmers at the national level. The 20-year-old sisters are veterans of the Seattle Synchro club, where they swam during their tenure as foreign exchange students at Seattle's Roosevelt High School in '04-'05. Somehow, I think I might look back on high school more fondly if there were more Brazilian twins in my memories.Some more about Bia and Branca, ...

You know, the NFL isn't the only league that has fans excited for the coming season. The Premiership kicks off its season in about two weeks, and as you can see from the photos here, Liverpool is ready for all catchers. I mean takers. Ready for all takers.Robbie Keane enthusiastically participated in, uhh... training drills? ... with Fernando Torres and the rest of his new teammates, and it's definitely good to see a new player ...