A Considerably Worse Mouse Trap (1)
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A mental exercise, if you will. Remove any hats or other headgear you may be wearing. Close your eyes, massage your temples, and think small. Toasters? Smaller. Shoes? Smaller. Pomegranates? Smaller. Cesium atoms? Okay, bigger. Hamsters? Whoops, overshot it a bit. … Mice? There we go. Mice. More specifically, little teeny mouse brains. A simple organ for a simple creature, its only function is to coordinate the five or six things a mouse needs to ...
Look It Up (1)
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As baseball wraps up its season by announcing this year’s award winners, two new names have been added to one of the most prestigious lists in sports: recipients of the Cy Young Award. Given to the most outstanding pitcher in each league, the Cy Young will now grace the mantles of San Francisco’s Tim Lincecum and Cleveland’s Cliff Lee. In the 52 years that the Cy Young Award has been given, it has grown steadily ...
Thomas, Who Has the Attention Span of a Gnat, Explains to His Brother-in-Law How to Take Care of His Cats While He Spends the Weekend in Austin (1)
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1 week, 3 days
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Well first of all, thanks so much for doing this. I really appreciate it. Danielle always takes such good care of them when I’m away, but I would have felt really bad with her coming over here in that cast. She likes that foot a lot, you know. Once when we were kids, we were talking which body parts we would cut off if we had to, and when it came to feet she said ...
The Test (1)
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Please maintain focus on your own test booklet. In the event of an emergency, please raise your hand and await the proctor. Do not leave your desk for any reason. Do not make eye contact with the proctor at any time. Refrain from vocalization, and please keep any coughing or other physical functions to a minimum. The room should already be at a comfortable temperature. If not, please alert the proctor right away — once ...
Stat of the Moment (1)
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3 weeks, 4 days
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The largest pumpkin ever measured weighed in at 8,467 pounds. It was grown in 2003 by a Lewiston, ME bank manager named Trent McCaffrey. An amateur gardening enthusiast, McCaffrey had no intention of competing in state fairs, let alone producing such a mammoth specimen. In his many interviews, he insists that he did nothing unusual — “Just Water And Fertilizer,” as the headline in the Lewiston Sun Journal put it. At the time of its ...
Serpents of the Frost Blade (1)
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Page 81 With a furtive glance back in your direction, the hooded stranger disappears among the commuters. Damn, she definitely saw me, you think to yourself in a flash of panic. You briefly consider charging after her, but something tells you she’s adept at getting lost in a crowd. Something also tells you this won’t be the last time your paths cross. Alas, a problem for another time. Besides, Brennick won’t wait forever. You dart ...